yowza!!
i haven't even sent out any copies of the new zine yet and already i'm getting positive reactions about it just being. i gave copies to richard, andy and sarah at the "think tank for human beings in general" release party (a poetry chapbook richard wrote with his friend jordan. you should get a copy, seriously. it's $3, which you can paypal to richardwehrenbergjr@gmail.com. or email him and work something out) but i haven't heard a response from any of them yet. richard said in an email that he was reading it currently, and writing me a letter. i'm kind of hoping he hands said-letter to me in our fiction writing class today. though getting one in the mail (even if we have class together & he lives only a 15 minute bike ride or so away) would be fun, too. i'm just anxious to see what he has to say! my respect for richard has grown so much over this semester, and that might end up in my next zine a bit.
ah, yes, my next zine.
i can't believe i'm already thinking about it, let alone WORKING on it, with how long it took to complete this one. i guess that's how it worked last time 'round, too. it took me six months or so to complete MCK #11, and then i went and turned #12 out in about a month's time. once you get goin, you just can't stop sometimes, right?
yesterday i was silly and i slept from about 8 PM-11 PM. fell asleep after reading a short story my fiction writing professor wrote/self-published. i felt really honored when he gave me a copy of it. he even said he'd printed it, then forgotten it at home, so he turned around on his bike just to get it (yes, he travels to campus on a bike. how could this guy NOT be my hero?) the story made me cry. it's kind of strange when that boundary of professor and student gets broken and you become people as opposed to teacher/student. not bad strange! i love it. few professors have taken the chance to really cross that line with me, and i really appreciate it when they do. i think ted, my writing prof, and i became closer the second i broke down crying during one of our conferences earlier this semester. i felt pretty mortified, but he almost looked relieved, like here was someone so consumed with their writing, so passionate about it, and so frustrated with it that it brought them to tears. i've taken basically every creative writing course kent state has to offer now (actually, not basically. i have, indeed) and i have seen how few people really care. so many people take these classes as filler, or just for fun, or for an easy A. while that's fine and i totally understand, it's also really frustrating because i'm taking them because i feel compelled to. because i love writing. because i am considering going to graduate school for it. because it's my minor (since, unfortunately, kent doesn't offer a writing major. thus why i got stuck with english.) so i can only imagine, as a professor of one of these courses, how important moments like that- a student crying over their work- can be.
when ted handed me his short story he told me a bit about it. he was giving it to me because i have a tough time writing fiction. i pretty much end up writing non-fiction/memoirs (what a surprise, with my background in perzines!) he said how this story was generally comprised of truth. that he fictionalized what job the main character had, a few other things. but the heartbreak was real. the conversation about the new lowes shopping center was real. he sorta played around it like, "well, what is truth, anyway?" but i knew when i read it, i could tell this was his truth. and the fact that ted lyons is a human being and not just my professor hit really hard. how do we forget these things?! of course he is a human being! of course he has experienced heartache and death and longing and life in general.
i really hope he will be my friend and that we can write each other letters after all of this. i'm giving him a copy of my latest zine in class today, which makes me pretty nervous since i talk about things like being queer and masturbation and sexual abuse in it, but i hope he'll like it. i've brought in examples from zines like "doris" for presentations in class before, and have been trying to pinpoint the difference between the writing in zines and "regular" fiction and/or non-fiction writing. i kind of got the idea this semester that i might even like to go into studying the non-fiction literature of zines in graduate school, if i can find a school/program that would work with that, and maybe one day i could teach a course somewhere on the topic, using my own personal archive of zines since who knows if they'll even really be accessible that far along in the future (i sure hope so!!)
anyway. i was talking about how i took that silly nap. well, after waking up at 11 PM and realizing the grave mistake i'd made to nap so late in the evening, i decided to make the most out of it. i ended cleaning both of my typewriters, fixing the 'n' key on the one that kept sticking, and trying to fix the other that hasn't worked since i bought it (it won't grip the paper when i insert it. i found a troubleshooting guide that says the platen- a.k.a. the roller- might just be too old and needs a good sanding, so i'm going to try that later if i get the chance.) then i wrote fifteen pages (already quarter-size, that is) for issue fourteen on my now smoothly running smith-corona. FIFTEEN PAGES?! that's insane! i stayed up all night. i haven't slept yet. during my french class this morning i wrote about five more pages in my journal about teaching poetry. that piece isn't even done yet. me thinks issue fourteen might end up being pretty long.
i suppose i should go finish my short story for class, though. it has to be near complete & copied by 2:15. i'm also going to copy two pages from the latest "doris" to handout to the class, because cindy made a little comic about writing that i think everyone might find interesting.
this entry is so long! you see, i just can't seem to stop writing. since last friday, i feel so happy and hopeful about everything, and like i could just talk for hours about how great the world can be. i know that will probably wear off soon, when the weather finally catches up with the season and i've got to wear my big winter coat and moonboots again. at least i learned last winter how much more bearable the ohio winter is when your toes aren't freezing the whole time. i have that to look forward to again.
i've been listening to these bands on a steady rotation. you should too:
http://www.myspace.com/lemuria
http://www.myspace.com/annabelrock
http://www.myspace.com/sidekicks
ah, yes, my next zine.
i can't believe i'm already thinking about it, let alone WORKING on it, with how long it took to complete this one. i guess that's how it worked last time 'round, too. it took me six months or so to complete MCK #11, and then i went and turned #12 out in about a month's time. once you get goin, you just can't stop sometimes, right?
yesterday i was silly and i slept from about 8 PM-11 PM. fell asleep after reading a short story my fiction writing professor wrote/self-published. i felt really honored when he gave me a copy of it. he even said he'd printed it, then forgotten it at home, so he turned around on his bike just to get it (yes, he travels to campus on a bike. how could this guy NOT be my hero?) the story made me cry. it's kind of strange when that boundary of professor and student gets broken and you become people as opposed to teacher/student. not bad strange! i love it. few professors have taken the chance to really cross that line with me, and i really appreciate it when they do. i think ted, my writing prof, and i became closer the second i broke down crying during one of our conferences earlier this semester. i felt pretty mortified, but he almost looked relieved, like here was someone so consumed with their writing, so passionate about it, and so frustrated with it that it brought them to tears. i've taken basically every creative writing course kent state has to offer now (actually, not basically. i have, indeed) and i have seen how few people really care. so many people take these classes as filler, or just for fun, or for an easy A. while that's fine and i totally understand, it's also really frustrating because i'm taking them because i feel compelled to. because i love writing. because i am considering going to graduate school for it. because it's my minor (since, unfortunately, kent doesn't offer a writing major. thus why i got stuck with english.) so i can only imagine, as a professor of one of these courses, how important moments like that- a student crying over their work- can be.
when ted handed me his short story he told me a bit about it. he was giving it to me because i have a tough time writing fiction. i pretty much end up writing non-fiction/memoirs (what a surprise, with my background in perzines!) he said how this story was generally comprised of truth. that he fictionalized what job the main character had, a few other things. but the heartbreak was real. the conversation about the new lowes shopping center was real. he sorta played around it like, "well, what is truth, anyway?" but i knew when i read it, i could tell this was his truth. and the fact that ted lyons is a human being and not just my professor hit really hard. how do we forget these things?! of course he is a human being! of course he has experienced heartache and death and longing and life in general.
i really hope he will be my friend and that we can write each other letters after all of this. i'm giving him a copy of my latest zine in class today, which makes me pretty nervous since i talk about things like being queer and masturbation and sexual abuse in it, but i hope he'll like it. i've brought in examples from zines like "doris" for presentations in class before, and have been trying to pinpoint the difference between the writing in zines and "regular" fiction and/or non-fiction writing. i kind of got the idea this semester that i might even like to go into studying the non-fiction literature of zines in graduate school, if i can find a school/program that would work with that, and maybe one day i could teach a course somewhere on the topic, using my own personal archive of zines since who knows if they'll even really be accessible that far along in the future (i sure hope so!!)
anyway. i was talking about how i took that silly nap. well, after waking up at 11 PM and realizing the grave mistake i'd made to nap so late in the evening, i decided to make the most out of it. i ended cleaning both of my typewriters, fixing the 'n' key on the one that kept sticking, and trying to fix the other that hasn't worked since i bought it (it won't grip the paper when i insert it. i found a troubleshooting guide that says the platen- a.k.a. the roller- might just be too old and needs a good sanding, so i'm going to try that later if i get the chance.) then i wrote fifteen pages (already quarter-size, that is) for issue fourteen on my now smoothly running smith-corona. FIFTEEN PAGES?! that's insane! i stayed up all night. i haven't slept yet. during my french class this morning i wrote about five more pages in my journal about teaching poetry. that piece isn't even done yet. me thinks issue fourteen might end up being pretty long.
i suppose i should go finish my short story for class, though. it has to be near complete & copied by 2:15. i'm also going to copy two pages from the latest "doris" to handout to the class, because cindy made a little comic about writing that i think everyone might find interesting.
this entry is so long! you see, i just can't seem to stop writing. since last friday, i feel so happy and hopeful about everything, and like i could just talk for hours about how great the world can be. i know that will probably wear off soon, when the weather finally catches up with the season and i've got to wear my big winter coat and moonboots again. at least i learned last winter how much more bearable the ohio winter is when your toes aren't freezing the whole time. i have that to look forward to again.
i've been listening to these bands on a steady rotation. you should too:
http://www.myspace.com/lemuria
http://www.myspace.com/annabelrock
http://www.myspace.com/sidekicks
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stressed
